


Optimus69

by bugiiwonderland (orphan_account)



Series: Bugiiwonderland x The Parallel [2]
Category: NU'EST
Genre: Amazing isn't it, Crack, Humor, Jonghyun is basically just having a (sexual) midlife-crisis, M/M, No Porn, No Smut, alternate universe - pornstars, camboy, please don't read this if this makes you uncomfy, there's a lot of thoughts of.....pinning (literally) on things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:47:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25894642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bugiiwonderland
Summary: Jonghyun made a lot of stupid decisions in his life.But somehow, one of those stupid decisions of his could actually be a wise one.
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun & Kim Jonghyun | JR, Hwang Minhyun/Kim Jonghyun | JR
Series: Bugiiwonderland x The Parallel [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1897705
Comments: 18
Kudos: 38
Collections: Nu'fics x The Parallel





	Optimus69

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jju_nyaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jju_nyaa/gifts).



> **WARNING:** this contains someone (imagining) pinning a certain someone on the wall, on the table, on the desk, on the sofa and hard-ons. So if you feel uncomfortable, please don't read this.
> 
> I definitely warned you and placed tags. 😂
> 
> For M, I am still not sure if you'll like this (so I didn't tag you) but I hope (no pressure) it would bring a smile to your face. 😅

It all started as a ruse. A distraction to relieve stress, as he reasoned with himself. 

But as his excuses for a _distraction_ piled up, he (somehow) convinced himself that his unethical actions were valid and that he was just like any other normal person, who—well, watched.

Problem was, the routine of once a month turned to twice a month, until at one point he _had_ no idea what the fuck happened and why the fuck his personal email was full of notifications of a certain _someone’s_ broadcast.

Actually, scratch that. He knew exactly what happened. He knew why the hell it became a routine every Friday. And how _this habit of his_ would bite him in the ass one day. 

He just didn’t expect that _that_ _one day_ would be sooner than he thought. 

And that today was that day. The fucking day that all his stupid decisions would wreak havoc in his life without warning.

“What do you think, Jonghyun?” Dongho, the managing director of their company (and also bestie number one), asked. “Is he hired?”

It was a stupid question, and if he was in the right state of mind, Jonghyun would correct his business partner and tell him off for asking something he knew the answer to. The decision has been made even before his soon-to-be (still unofficial) secretary stepped into the company building.

A decision that Jonghyun really, really regretted agreeing to. 

Jonghyun stared at his soon-to-be (still unofficial) secretary and the younger man gave him a warm and innocent smile—one that Jonghyun has seen many times and knew all too well.

Well, not physically, per se, but more of virtually. Jonghyun couldn't help but falter in that smile. It was the smile that he always saw in his . . . _streams._

Jonghyun bit the inside of his cheek and controlled _these_ emotions that he was sure he shouldn’t feel in the confines of his office. But then, it was a futile move. He loved that smile. He loved the way the man before him stared at him the same way he stared at his camera shyly and too personally. It reminded Jonghyun of those times that the man made him feel that he was there—as if he was doing it for him and him alone. 

And the more time Jonghyun stared at the man before him, the more time that he felt himself being pulled into his abyss. Maybe that was the reason why it became a routine. Without knowing, he had already fallen. Hook, line, sinker, and all that jazz, right into the dashing man before him.

Dashing, though, wasn’t quite the right word.

Optimus69 looked beautiful in real life.

Graceful, elegant, and otherworldly, _beautiful._

Especially in that striped Dior shirt that Jonghyun was sure came from his generous tip last week. Maybe he should do that again later, double his tip to make sure that Optimus69 could buy more— 

The sound of someone clearing their throat pulled Jonghyun away from his dangerous thoughts. Glancing towards the sound, he caught the eye of Aron, the marketing director of their company (and bestie number two), who was staring at him impatiently with an eyebrow raised.

“The clock’s ticking, Jonghyun. Dongho and I still have a meeting with Minki in half an hour.”

“Right,” Jonghyun said, clearing his throat. It would be a mess if he made them miss their meeting with Minki, their company’s scary advertising director. He turned back to his (now official) secretary and smiled, albeit a little too strained, like how his pants felt. “You’re—uh, you’re hired, Hwang Minhyun-ssi.”

 _“Nice,”_ Minhyun murmured under his breath with a winning smile, before reverting his expression into a professional one. “Thank you, Sir.”

“You’re welcome,” Jonghyun replied with a tight-lipped smile. He was sure that he would regret his decisions later.

* * * * *

It wasn’t until a month had passed when his fears became true. But it wasn’t exactly his secretary (and also camboy on the sideline), Hwang Minhyun’s fault. 

_Okay_ _maybe_ , it was, but just not in a direct way.

But going back to the topic, Minhyun was an excellent secretary—so good at his job that Jonghyun didn’t have any complaints about his work. 

In _other_ areas however . . . there are.

There were times, many, _many_ times, that his secretary got too close to him, right in his personal space. To be honest, he didn’t really mind that. Even if, occasionally, Minhyun would—out of nowhere—lean into him with his hand gently clasping his shoulder as he talks to him about his schedule.

Yup. He doesn’t mind that (even if he just became a blushing and stuttering mess each time). No, there’s something else that he really, really, minds. 

You see, Minhyun . . . his dashing, otherworldly, beautiful secretary has an affinity with too sexy clothes. And it drives him _insane_ everytime he sees him.

It was already hard to control the urge of pinning Minhyun to his office wall and kissing him senseless, and of course, thinking of cute little puppies and pokemons when he felt an incoming hard-on whenever his too-touchy and absolutely-no regard-for-personal-space secretary was too close to him. But what made everything worse was Minhyun, the dashing, otherworldly, sexy, hot, person that he is, arriving in the office dressed in a low-neck shirt and too-tight pants, making him unconsciously (and unethically) stare at Minhyun and maybe imagine (again, unethically) things that involved his desk, his sofa, and the conference table in his office.

But sure, aside from that, Jonghyun had no complaints.

Minhyun was perfect (as a secretary doing his job) and definitely (aside from his unethical, immoral suffering) made his stressful and too busy work routine a lot easier. All he needed to do was show up at work, do what Minhyun told him to do that day—and voila, he was done.

Minhyun made his life so easy that Jonghyun was itching to give him a raise right there and then, but knowing how that would raise many eyebrows around the company, he (stupidly) opted to provide Minhyun the raise in his other job instead.

Jonghyun knew it was a foolish thing to do—he knew that much, at least—especially when he was working with Minhyun who had no idea that his boss knew his other job. But as a businessman who recognized and appreciated efforts (may it be secretarial jobs or sidelines), he had to give Minhyun his highly deserved reward.

So if Hwang Minhyun went into the office (yeah, he dug his own grave) looking hot dressed in newly-bought designer clothes courtesy of one of his viewers’ generous tip—then he deserved it (even if that meant he had to suffer through another day of hard-ons).

After all, Minhyun was a hard-working person (in both jobs).

The problem was (for the nth time), you see, Jonghyun didn’t expect his business partners to notice it. And when Jonghyun said other business partners, he meant his two dummy right and left hand (and besties for life), Dongho and Aron.

“Nice shirt you have there,” Dongho commented as soon as their meeting was done. 

“Probably expensive,” Aron coolly chimed in, staring at Minhyun. 

“Not really,” Minhyun shrugged. “A view—I mean a friend of mine gave it as a gift.”

Jonghyun felt goosebumps rise on the back of his neck when he heard that. And if the people in the conference room paid attention to him, he knew that someone would probably notice how he was blushing and frozen in place.

“Lucky you,” Minki commented bitterly. “I wish I had someone who would gift me Gucci shirts, too.”

Jonghyun choked upon hearing that. And apparently, it wasn’t only him—Minhyun, too, was choking on thin air, making Dongho, Aron, and Minki stare at them in confusion.

“You guys okay?” Minki asked, looking at them strangely as he passed them bottles of water.

“Yeah, just—” Jonghyun paused, clearing his throat. “Something got in my throat.”

“Same,” Minhyun said, glancing at him with a weak smile. Jonghyun had no idea what that smile meant, was it a smile of: _hey, we both choked on air, nice!_ or _I know you know my secret_ —which wasn’t exactly nice and might land him in jail.

After all, watching porn was—well, might be okay if you don’t know the pornstar. But streaming a camboy and joining his private auctions (still), who also happened to be his secretary? Jonghyun was sure that he broke some laws there. 

And as much as he wanted to put a stop on his stupid routine of watching Opti—Minhyun, he just couldn’t bring himself to. 

Because one: he needed to reward Minhyun for his hard work—in his secretarial job, of course—and two: he had made a promise. 

A stupid promise that he didn’t even need to do. But, well, it was done. And even if he didn’t make that promise that night, Jonghyun was sure he would stream his secretary’s sideline. 

After all, how could he just turn a blind eye from those weirdos who kept asking Minhyun to do _unsavoury_ things?

Just the thought of it now made him want to punch something. Hell, he almost punched the screen of his Smart TV when ~~Minhyun~~ Optimus69 told him about it during his private stream (the day after officially being hired). 

Jonghyun remembered that time very clearly. It was supposed to be the last day that he would watch Minhyun in his streams. Because, unlike his dirty mind that told him that it’s okay, that it’s normal to watch porn—he actually had a guilty conscience. 

He was supposed to tell ~~Minhyun~~ Optimus6—with pure intentions and utmost respect—that he wouldn’t be able to be there anymore. But his plans all changed when Opti—Minhyun, stared at him sincerely (through his camera) and told him how his day went. 

It was enlightening in a way how Minhyun was so giddy that time as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. To be honest, that was the first time Jonghyun didn’t pay attention to Minhyun’s alluring physique, and instead, he was enamored by the way Minhyun smiled so openly, forgetting the fact that he was doing his sideline. It was also because of that smile that Jonghyun stopped Minhyun from doing anything else, and just asked him to talk about how his day went. 

It surprised Minhyun, of course, because he was used to his viewers for asking something more. But that time, Jonghyun didn’t want anything else. 

A real conversation was more than enough for him, and he was glad he asked Minhyun that. Because for the first time in eight months, he saw a side of who Minhyun truly was. 

That day, he saw a side that Minhyun never shared to anyone else. 

He learned that Minhyun was just as charismatic as he was alluring. He’s a strong-minded person who knew what he wanted, who had a lot of dreams that weren't just stuck in the confines of his room and his camera. 

And just like any other person, Minhyun, too, was a brave man. 

A brave (and smart) man who took the plunge by doing streams just to make his dreams come true and make ends meet. 

During that time when Minhyun was telling him the reason he ended up doing porn (thanks to his student loans and siblings to support), Jonghyun learned that people—even if they might look like they’re enjoying their job (Minhyun did, he told him that), sometimes, you just have to do it, because that’s the only way. 

And as Minhyun had told him, he just had to hold onto a knife. 

Jonghyun understood what that meant very well. Hell, he, Aron, and Dongho held onto knives and clutched it tightly just to be where they were now. 

But what Minhyun did was way beyond that. 

Jonghyun had his two dummy best friends with him, while Minhyun on the other hand, did it alone.

All because he had no choice. 

So, yeah—maybe him not stopping in streaming and supporting Minhyun’s private streams was bad, but hey, if that’s the only option and that’s the only way he could protect Minhyun from those weirdos that asked him weird demands for a show—then so be it. 

Minhyun clutched a knife with his bare hands. And he, in turn, will hold it with him. 

Especially when it was him after all who suggested to Minhyun (in good intentions) to stop doing streams and do private auctions instead—in which he promised Minhyun that he would win every single time.

“So, anyway, what should we eat later?” Minki asked, interrupting Jonghyun's train of thoughts. 

“I vote for samgyupsal,” Dongho said, raising his hand up. Next to him, Aron chuckled. 

“You always vote for samgyupsal, Dongho-yah.”

“Well that’s the only thing that I can enjoy eating nonstop while you guys drink,” Dongho answered with a shrug, placing his hand down as he started searching for restaurants on his phone. “We could go to that new one in Gangnam. It's been the talk in my department lately. The place has good food, and it’s not overpacked that Jonghyun could enjoy streaming his—”

“Dongho,” Jonghyun quickly cut him off, glaring at his business partner (now ex-bestie) to keep his mouth shut. 

“What? It’s not like I’m the only one who knows you are streaming porn on Fridays,” Dongho grumbled, typing away on his phone. 

Jonghyun heard Aron chuckle as Minki smacked Dongho at the back of his head. If it’s only them, Jonghyun wouldn’t mind—it was already an old joke that was brought up whenever Jonghyun would miss their weekly company dinners for, well, _important business._ His business partners didn’t even know who he was watching, so really he wasn’t bothered about it much. Until now, that is. 

“Y-you stream porn?” Minhyun’s voice was too low—too low, that if Jonghyun wasn’t so attuned to his secretary and maybe be like a normal person like anyone else in this room, he wouldn’t hear it, lest understand the nervousness in Minhyun’s voice. 

“I—” 

“He streams weekly, but not just porn, but a certain—”

 _“DONGHO!”_ Jonghyun screamed as Dongho finished his sentence by mumbling out loud _Optimus69._

It was then when Jonghyun felt his life crumble in front of him under the weight of his stupid decisions all piled up. Yet, all Jonghyun could focus on was the way Minhyun stared at him in utter shock—then slowly it turned into understanding, then a knowing smirk. 

A fucking knowing smirk that made Jonghyun blush red. 

“Is that so?” Minhyun asked. Jonghyun didn’t miss the hint of naughtiness in his voice, nor the way Minhyun’s eyebrow was raised suggestively as he stared at him as if he was undressing him. But what surprised him was that relieved smile. It wasn’t obvious—hell, Jonghyun was sure no one was noticing the way Minhyun stared at him as he if just saved his life. The way Minhyun’s playful smile had that tinge of warmth—one that Jonghyun had been seeing in ~~Minhyun~~ Optimus69’s eyes for the past month. 

Jonghyun should find this alarming—he could go to jail for fuck’s sake—but all he felt was something warm. It was as if Minhyun had hugged him comfortingly and that everything that he did wrong was alright. 

Does that even make sense?

He felt something on his thigh and Minhyun smiled at him kindly, before giving his thigh a comforting squeeze. 

Okay, he might not go to jail after all. 

Or maybe he will. Yup, definitely, he will, especially with that tingling sensation, a very dangerous tingling sensation he was feeling as Minhyun’s hand traveled far up to something dangerous. 

“You didn’t answer me, _Sir,”_

Jonghyun didn’t miss the sultriness in Minhyun’s voice, which only made the unethical feelings that he was feeling, worse. And yet, he couldn’t help but to succumb to it—let Minhyun pull him in like how he did in his streams—as if he was a puppet, and Minhyun was his puppeteer. 

“I—yes,” Jonghyun answered breathily as if he just ran a marathon. 

“Nice,” Minhyun hummed, giving him a sultry yet sweet smile. “You shouldn’t miss it tonight, then.” 

And it was with those words and that smile that Jonghyun got a hold of himself. Minhyun wanted to play, so who was he to stop him? 

Smiling, he raised a playful eyebrow at his secretary. “I shouldn’t, huh?” 

“Yeah, you shouldn’t,” Minhyun replied with a playful smile before looking away from him and facing the others. The conversation in the conference room had resumed, with Minki and Dongho fighting about where to eat, while Aron, who was sitting in between the two, covered his ears. 

It was nice seeing things were somehow back to normal. Yet Jonghyun knew by the way Minhyun glanced at him every now and then (and his hand still heavy on his thigh); things will never be the same. 

And that Minhyun will drive him insane, sooner than later. 

“Samgyupsal at Capt’s, then,” Minki sighed as the decision to where they would have their weekly company dinner was made. “You coming, right?”

“Sorry, I can’t.” Minhyun smiled apologetically at Minki before turning to his boss with a subtle smile. “I have to meet my friend later.”

“The one who gave you that shirt?” Minki asked. 

“Uh-huh,” Minhyun grinned, eyes never straying away from Jonghyun. “I owe him a gift, after all.”

“I think your friend would like that,” Jonghyun commented, a knowing smile was playing on his lips. 

“You think?” Minhyun teased. 

“Probably,” Jonghyun teased back. 

If the other three people in the room noticed how the two of them were acting out of character and flirting shamelessly, they kept mum about it. 

And to be honest, Jonghyun couldn’t care less. He had a gift waiting for him later and with Minhyun looking at him darkly (with a tinge of warmth) it was obviously good. 

Minhyun shifted in his seat and leaned closer to him. “So, if I’m guessing right, you know me?”

“Maybe,” he whispered, reaching for Minhyun’s hand on his thigh and moving it to a safer (for work) place. 

“Hmmm . . . mysterious, I like it,” Minhyun pursed his lip and Jonghyun caught the way his secretary’s eyes sparkled in anticipation. “Though I already had a feeling who you are.”

“Do you?” he asked tauntingly. His secretary chuckled and leaned even closer to him that Jonghyun was sure screamed PDA. 

“Yeah, it’s easy to put two and two together, especially with your affinity with Pokemon,” Minhyun murmured to his ear and Jonghyun shivered, feeling the hairs at the nape of his neck rising. 

“Is that so?”

“Uh-huh. Nice to finally meet you, _Bugi89.”_ Minhyun replied in a seductive voice before reverting his expression into a warm and gentle smile—one that Jonghyun realized was his favorite. “Thank you, by the way.”

Jonghyun gave Minhyun’s hand a reassuring squeeze and smiled. “No biggie.”

Guess those stupid decisions of him of choosing to be distracted by a certain pornstar wasn’t bad after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry.  
> I was drunk when I wrote this.
> 
> A big shout-out of thanks to the amazing betas who had to suffer through my run-ons and for Lilli, who again, took my hand and shed some light in this story (ILY babe! 😘).
> 
> I owe you bigtime guys T_T


End file.
